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Dating While Saved: A Christian Woman’s Guide
Many women want to know, “what is appropriate dating behavior for a A Christian woman? Are there do’s and don’ts for dating while keeping?” If you’re even considering this, I’d personally like to give you a high five and a hug just for asking this question! Your curiosity about this matter simply means, you are concerned about two things: Your relationship with God and your relationship with your male friend.
Unfortunately, not enough women think that way. Many believe that being a Christian does not necessarily mean that you should have standards that are different from the world when it comes to dating. “Why can’t I go out and have fun?” They say. While there’s nothing wrong with having a great time, I truly and wholeheartedly believe that solid standards for your dating relationship are essential. Why? Because, as God-fearing women, everything we do should uphold a godly standard. We should always consider where we go, what we do, what we watch, and who we mix with.
For example: Being in the wrong atmosphere with a man can easily turn things in the wrong direction. If he invites you to see a movie that you know is full of inappropriate scenes and at 10PM, your red flag should pop up immediately. For many women this very scenario has resulted in a tearful journey home and a prayer that begins with, “Lord, what have I done?” I am sharing with you today how you can avoid such pitfalls by recognizing what is appropriate and what is not.
Even if you enjoy wholesome movies with that special someone, you may want to watch them during the day, and in an appropriate setting – not alone. Be honest with yourself. If you plan to watch a movie you feel on the day true attracted to it, don’t do it. You don’t want to set yourself up for failure. Remember the scripture James 4:7that says “Submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
How about romance?
Romance seems to be the biggest question when it comes to dating. Can we have a romance? Should we want romantic treatment from guys when we’re single? Well, here’s the scoop, ladies and gentlemen.
If you love a guy who is naturally romantic; who constantly does the sweetest things to win your love, make sure his intentions are pure. Granted, some men are naturally romantic. You know, the guys who know how to shower their girls with fancy gifts, dozens of roses, chocolates, bears, jewelry – I mean, the works. And that’s sweet. But again, make sure his intention is not to trick you into inappropriate situations. Most boys are smarter than we give them credit for!
And, if you’re in a moment of vulnerability and he showers you with these lovely signs of love and affection, it’s easy for you to get caught up in that and feel like you owe him something. I encourage you not to feel that way. Instead, tell him thank you. Be firm with a standard of purity in your relationship with him, and make sure he knows he can give you everything he likes, but you won’t stoop to any inappropriate thanks.
The Green Zone:
I like to call the Green Zone the fun and safe places you should consider for great wholesome enjoyment. You don’t have to go to church every Friday night with your significant other. There are many places that are suitable for Christian dating.
Consider taking a leisurely stroll through the park. This is the type setting that makes conversation easy. No ambient sound interference. No chatter among strangers in the background. Only the two of you have the opportunity to get to know each other better. And you know how we girls love to talk!
And if you’re not the outdoorsy type, consider an indoor activity like indoor golf. Enjoy a cup of coffee or a nice pastry in a coffee shop. Take a walk through the mall if you enjoy shopping – that way you can give him some “hints or tips” as I like to call them.
There are so many other places that don’t involve drinking, or hanging out in clubs or casinos. Just because you’re grown doesn’t automatically make everything right or suitable for Christian dating.
The Red Zone:
The color red is used for so many reasons and typically they are for warning signs such as the stop sign. In this case, the Red Zone for the places and situations you should consider avoiding.
While people think that going to dance clubs is harmless, I beg to differ. Having experienced that lifestyle myself, I can tell you with my own eyes that there is nothing out there that can help or improve your relationship. It is full of drinking, smoking, vulgar music and obscene dancing. And really ask yourself this. Why would you want to take your man to a place where women are on the prowl?
In fact, many will try to shove it in your face. For obvious reasons, flag this as a Red Zone status if this ever comes up in conversation. The same goes for bars, casinos and anywhere else where temptation will follow you out the door.
It’s safe to say, of course, that you can have a quiet dinner – even if it’s accompanied by a smooth jazz band. But, remember what your standards are. It’s much better to go straight home than to regret your compromise the next morning.
Always maintain a standard of purity and holiness in everything you do – including dating. That way, you’ll have a clear path to love, without lust taking over.
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